I remember throughout high school always thinking of how funny the situations I got myself into were worthy of a sitcom episode. My friends would shake their head and laugh at my bad luck. I wish I would of wrote down all of my mishaps and misfortunes. Seriously, my life as a sitcom would of been a hit. Maybe not for Disney, but definitely HBO.
At 16, I thought my first day at my first job would of been great. I would of been able to tie in a flash back and everything.
My best friend at the time helped me get hired at McDonald’s in Seminole. When I got there they gave me my uniform. The problem was I was so tiny that their smallest pair of pants didn’t fit me. What a “sag,” I thought. Then, the managers were huddled up trying to figure out what Rachel could train me on. They were clueless because they were over staffed. So, they instructed both of us to clean the playground. Not just the tile, tables and chairs, but inside and out of the big toy of slides, tubes and ball room. … What the truck?
Rachel cringed when they said that, and watching her reaction my eyes got wide open. The managers laughed and said, “It’s not that bad.”
When we were out there Rachel described the other time she did this. It wasn’t a good day. She found poop in one of the tubes. … But, we talked about everything and anything like always. She told me about her friend who was just diagnosed anorexic. She was a freshman and her friends were constantly pressuring each other into losing weight. Then, she told me how a few of them were trying to lose weight with laxatives. One day she went into the bathroom and heard one of those girls “blowing up the toilet.” She said she stood quietly until she finished. And at an appropriate time she pretended to walk into the bathroom. Rachel said she wanted to see who it was. That girl was a deer in headlights, but never knew Rachel stood there listening. That’s how she knew the rumor was true.
After we finished with the playground. I was taught how to make fries. Easy process, just listen to beeps and push the right buttons. No problem. The problem was there was one particular girl working the drive-thru that I knew from grade school in Maud. She approached me and asked if I was the girl who swallowed a quarter in second grade. … Yes. Yes, I was. But, it wasn’t a quarter.
Flash back moment: OK, so in second grade I was living with my Nanny and Poppy in Maud, while my mom was trying to figure out her life. College or no college. Anyway, somehow I had two copies of an old coin. I decided to bring my coins for show and tell. Honestly, I didn’t know for sure if I could present them to class, but I brought one anyway.
At this time of my life I still put things in my mouth. I chewed on the collar of my t-shirts, my “woogie” (my favorite blanket), drawstrings on shirts and sucked on coins. Not sure why, but I did. I was a kid. Well, I remember my teacher, Ms. Tucker, was lecturing us on a social studies topic. I put my old coin in my mouth, leaned back in my chair and ignored her. … Moments later, she asked, “Brandy, what’s the answer?” I sat up, accidentally swallowed my coin and noticed it got stuck in my throat. Holding my throat I squealed, “It’s stuck!” The class went chaotic and my teacher panicked. She made me go to the water fountain to swallow it down. Nope. Still there.
They called my Nanny. I was in the office scared to talk. I could feel it there. My Nanny, mom and aunt Tammy showed up and took me to the doctor. In the parking lot I vomited something foamy and tasted like a coin. They took an X-Ray. Yeah it was perfectly straight up and down, not blocking air, but they were worried that since I’m vomiting ever so often that it might turn. They recommended we went to Children’s Hospital in Oklahoma City.
So, Nanny rounded us up and went roughly 100 mph to the city. We were there in about 45 min. Normally it would of taken her an hour and 15 minutes. I had a dish to vomit in. Luckily, it wasn’t food that was coming up. Just water. When we got there they asked me a dozen questions and I answered as briefly as possible. I was scared to talk, thinking it would move and I would die. An older man with white hair came in with my mom. He introduced himself as Danny and cut a joke with me, I think. I was panicking, so jokes were somewhat inappropriate.
Because Ms. Tucker had me drink water, they had to wait 8 hours to do surgery. They laid me down in a bed and random people came and talked to me. I remember being strapped into a bed and wheeled into a room with a bright light on the ceiling. Someone asked me if I like strawberries and put a mask on me. They said to count down 3 to 1 and smell the strawberries. “3, 2, …”
When I woke up there was a TV on with Rainbow Bright. Oh yeah, I was very happy. My throat felt funny, but all I could think and talk about was the episode. A doctor asked me if I was feeling fine and I said, “Yeah, in this one Rainbow Bright walks up to …” Eventually I chilled out and watched. Then my mom walked in and said they couldn’t get me to shut up. I smiled and explained I didn’t want it to move while I talked.
Then when they let me go my mom said she had some news for me. She said, “Remember Danny? He’s the father of a friend of mine. I want you to meet Sean, he’s going to be your new Dad.” … Oh my goodness, I thought. I swallow a coin and everything changes. I promised I would never stick another coin in my mouth again.
Back at McDonald’s: So, yeah. Anyone and everyone in my grade from Maud never knew my name, but knew I swallowed a coin in Ms. Tuckers class.
Infamous?
